Spring?

Well the winter is over (sort of) the weather keeps going up and down.  Some days it's nice some days windy and chilly.  It was Easter last weekend and I went to the the flower store to get a flower for my sons grave.  After my Joey died they didn't grow back, the flowers I had planted for Timmy.  Of course because they had to dig the grave for my oldest son.  I was thinking this on my way home, I just started to cry.  Here I am thinking how pretty this flower is and how nice it would look since no flowers will grow that I've already planted, and it's Easter when I should be buying candy, filling up Easter baskets.

When Timmy was 14 years old I didn't make any Easter baskets.  When he woke up and come downstairs he asked me where are the Easter Baskets.  So I said well I figured you guys where to old for baskets, he said mom, you're never too old for Easter Baskets, please promise me next year you will get me one.  I agreed!  So the following year in 2007, I made all 3 boys a basket.  Timmy was really happy.  He even remembered and told me thanks mom I'm glad you made us baskets, I would have been really disappointed. So here I look at this flower and think, that was my last Easter with him.  He was murdered in July 2007.  I was glad I got him that basket, glad he told me you're never too old for candy.  But it still hurts my heart knowing he is not here.  And now missing my first Easter without my Joey.  He liked to eat the dinner than eat the candy!!!!  I feel cheated.