My Adventures

I've always thought about writing a journal of my crazy daily events that occur in my life. As it would seem the stuff that happens to me, just doesn't seem to happen to a lot of people every day. So I think I might just start writing stuff down because believe it or not, this is all true and yes these kinds of things do happen to me every day. I'm going to start about three weeks ago.... First off, I have a memorial page for my son Timmy. It is my safe haven, somewhere to go and see things his friends and family write, people light candles for him and I change the graphics for each holiday or season. Well one day I received an email that he had a new tribute on his page. I went to view it and it was from one of the "alleged" murderer's brother. He said that he wanted to get in touch with me and give me info about the "actual killers". Well I guess that just took my breath away. It is bad enough that they live around me, and sometimes I see them and do my best to avoid, I don't want confrontations with the family, I know they believe their innocence they have the right to stand by the one they love, as I also have the right to fight for justice for my son. Well after that things just started colliding with one another. I can't go into much of it, but it was just all pieces of the puzzle that almost made me have a nervous breakdown. I took some time off from work, I went back to my counselor. I needed a "step back" so to speak. So each day goes by and more weird things happen. But I get through them. The pain of losing your child to murder is enourmous. I cannot describe it. But then when you have other things that come into play it's almost like "is this stuff really happening to me"??? Like how my door broke, yes my front door. Cracked right in half form the wonderful weather we had and the nice gusty winds. So I had to get a new door. Believe me my dog and cat loved it, if we left the main door open they had a permanent doggy/cat door to go in and out, but with the weather getting nice I was getting lots of flies!!! So I finally did get my door fixed. Now to present day, I am driving to work, low on gas and my tire needs air. I stop and get gas, I go to the air pump. I for the life of me cannot get this thing to work right. The air is going everywhere but in my tire. So I'm frustrated by now and it's getting later, now I'm worried I'll be late for work. So I pull up and get stuck at a red light but in the middle of the intersection. Maybe that's a good thing. Because as I'm sitting there waiting for the light to turn green, a man in his truck waved at me to lower my window, so I do. He said, "you left your gas cap on the trunk of your car". I'm like oh no!!! I'm in the middle of this intersection at a very busy highway! I jump out and low and behold there is my gas cap still on the trunk where I left it. How the heck it didn't fall off from out of the gas station, and down about 6 blocks is besides me! I was so thankful that maybe I was meant to get stuck at this red light that I never get stuck at so this nice man could tell me about my gas cap, otherwise I could have kissed that baby goodbye once I got on the highway! Then of course stuck in traffic and by now totally frustrated. I put on the ipod and each song that was played by random was a song that Timmy liked or one that reminded me of him. Oh and one more thing, since I haven't been finding too many dimes, as I was dusting the other day I picked up something off the computer desk and there were two, yes two, dimes sitting there. I know he's with me all the time, I just wish I could hold him and hug him and tell him how much I love him with all my heart. I also have some cute new pictures that I'll be posting. I had my one son take a picture off his camera phone of a picture, and they actually turned out pretty good. I love all my friends and family who are sticking by me thru this darkness I am currently in. Without them, I would be lost. And I decided that after each post I am going to write down the last words I got to say to my son, sort of how Carol Burnett pulled on her ear for her grandmother who was deaf, my way of saying I'll never forget you. "good night baby cakes, don't stay up late, love ya".