Each Day

Each day brings to me more tears it seems.  I wish I had started a blog 2 years ago.  I used to write a journal but it became to difficult to write in it each night.  I would wind up crying most of the time.  Starting this today I will go back in time as much as I can and share the memories I have, the joy, the pain, the heartache.  It all adds up to the days of my life.  Last night as I sat to eat dinner, I could hear a basketball being bounced outside the house.  I nearly chocked on my food.  I started to sob.  Why?  Well we have a basketball court out front and Timmy and his friends would all play basketball out there.  I used to always complain to them how the ball always landed on my flowers and how they were ruining my rose bush.  To think, I'd take it all back in a heart beat.  So many things I would take back, just to have my son with me.  So many things I wish I never said, so many things I wish I DID say.  It eats you up alive, tears at your heart strings.  How can a mom whose son was murdered at the age of 15 go on?  Is it even possible?